Spin｡Spin｡Spin｡★★★

27 June 2008 @ 11:53 pm

[♫ Ceilla]

When I was little, and people would say, “What do you look forward to in the future?”, I’d give them those typical replies about hover boards or floating islands, the things I saw on TV glorifying what people thought would be the ideal future. Or I’d tell them how I’d be a veterinarian, helping all the sick little animals get better. When you’re little, everything’s lit by sunshine as you play off in your world of imagination. You don’t think about the consequences of what those hover boards might run on, clogging up the earth or the fact that you can’t save all those animals from death. And no one tells you otherwise… They hide their jealousy of your naivety, maybe they hush truths because they want to be around innocent children to place themselves back in that world.

When I was little, I saw the future in sunshine linings too, a life with my parents close by, my job that I loved, my naivety still etched into my personality. And boys were ‘icky’ back then, so there was no one else but my family. The sun would touch everything in everywhere, it would touch everyone’s hearts, everyone would be friends with everyone.

When I was little, the true future was nothing. It wasn’t there in my mind because the things that exist now aren’t known by little four year olds. And even the adults who thought they would just let the future pass on by as an audience couldn’t see the drastic changes that loomed ahead. No one listened to the world around them. And as I progressed on in my life, the sunshine that once encased everything began to recede.

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26 June 2008 @ 08:48 pm

Let the excuses start...

...NOW! This is a horribly lame excuse, but I'm pausing on writing that 8059 fanfic, reason being is... the JRock Hate Meme has completely crushed my spirits about writing fanfic xD; That and the Reborn! meme as well. I don't know what it is, but having things like: THEY HAVE NO POINT! Shoved in my face a few thousand times makes me go, '...I should really start my OS now :B;;;;' but the good news is that it's all formed in my head, I just need a day or so to sort it all out. That and I need a day to figure out which of the thousand options of starting points to use.

I think the hardest thing in writing is starting and ending, both those two sentences cause me major hurt. I can rewrite them a thousand times, normally the starting one takes much more time just because you HAVE to grab your reader (Lawlz FCAT memory) and make them go, "Okay, I'll read the next sentence" and so on. D: I have my characters, they came along quite nicely and the plot is... well it might sound typical in the beginning but I'll try my damnest to do something cool. But anywho, I'll post tomorrow,

nani_kumi :] I should seriously just send you all my writings daily, you and one other person are the only people who read this xDDD But I love you for it *hugs* I want to write you something you want to read about, toss me ideas anytime BB!

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25 June 2008 @ 08:27 pm

Valecity - FAIL[01]

nani_kumi, I'm sorry but there will be no daily crack for you today D; Tomorrow I'll return with hopefully a MUCH better post than what I've come up with recently <3. It's my break day x3. At least I made it two weeks before I had to stop ;D. But thank you for always supporting me. I'll be back tomorrow, World.

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24 June 2008 @ 11:42 pm

Valecity [14] - - - -9

I really need to stop writing these about two hours from the deadline. :B;;;; It might just help me improve my writing xD Anywho, after this I can finally get back to Gokudera's EPIC question of self and Yamamoto's OH SO TYPICAL hidden feelings, yay all around. :B I actually like this part. And I think once I finish this whole damn thing, I may just go back and start editing and polishing to make this fic decent enough for postage onto a comm.

“Big time loser?*”

Gokudera’s brain searched its memory for a moment, but the name didn’t ring any bells. “…I don’t think I’ve played that before.”

“I’ll teach you!”

Yamamoto tried his best, tried hard to go slow and explain all the rules of the game, but after a handful of minutes Gokudera just sneered. Yamamoto tried again to explain, but his own sleep deprived self didn’t make complete sense of everything. And finally Gokudera cast his snide remark, “why not just play some easy game like Go Fish?”. And so said game ensued. But it didn’t take long before their drowsiness kicked in and the cards were tossed out. Yamamoto took up residence on the tiny, white sheet bed, Gokudera sitting on the floor with his back against the bed, trivial conversation trying to keep the silence at bay. Gokudera knew were silence would lead them.

“When are you going back to Japan?” The words were meant to hold that threatening feel, even though Yamamoto’s cheery self seemed to be immune to it, but the words fell flat like one winged birds.

“When you come back with me.”

“Don’t say it like that.” Those held a bite.

“Why what’s wrong with it?”

“…Nothing, I forgot your some carefree idiot.” Finally silence managed to creep its way in as Gokudera finished his sentence. He should probably get up. He should probably go to bed. He should probably stop entertaining Yamamoto. He didn’t want them to be all friendly when really the only reason he was here was his job. He didn’t need to be all friendly anyways. He only needed someone who wasn’t there anymore. He needed no replacement for that friendship, no one elses was good enough.

“You know something…”

“Alright, I’ll humor you.” Here we go… Gokudera couldn’t help but think. He throws an insult and the other man just lets it roll off. Then again, Gokudera knew that Yamamoto probably didn’t even take it as an insult… damn idiot.

“You’re being a bit more accepting of me since I’ve been here, it’s nice.”

What? Fuck does that mean?, “What the hell do you mean.”

A chuckle came from behind him, “I had a feeling you’d come back with a mean comment, I almost didn’t say it. But it’s true right? I’m glad we’re becoming friends… I don’t like the circumstances either… but still I-“

“Will you shut up!? Are you trying to say that you’re my replacement for the tenth!? You’re not!” He’d meant to make a storming exit, but his coordination was asleep. He stumbled to get up, but when he did he looked at that bastard straight in the eyes and yelled, “You bastard, you know what, just go the fuck home! Stop acting so damn friendly and happy, it’s so fucking irritating! You’re not Tsuna!”

Even as he stumbled out of the room and left Yamamoto in shock, the anger in the atmosphere was still floating around. The other man sighed, he’d had a feeling something like this would happen. In truth, Yamamoto had believed that coming here was also to help Gokudera recover, not just herd him back to Japan. He thought maybe, maybe by God sent luck, he help Gokudera come out of this. He did want to be friends, he wanted more, but he knew he’d planted a bomb as soon as anything about Tsuna came up. Tsuna. Tsuna..

“…That was the first time he’s called him Tsuna…”

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23 June 2008 @ 11:39 pm

Valecity [13] - BACK TO UNTITLED 8

OMG, get ready guys, the rollercoast of phail is heading into the ANGST MODE NOW. So we got the happy and now we're going back to angst yay 8D. But don't worry, the rollercoaster ALWAYS has twists and turns >D. AND NOW, 5000 words in, I can FINALLY start building the ~~never would be possible ever only in fanfics~~ love aspect 8DDDD. HAPPINESS. Anywho, 'm tired 8D;;;

It's short again, sorry D;. I'd say Act wise, this second act is about... 30-35% done, ho shiz I have a lot to write Dx.

And

nani_kumi thank you so much for always correcting me <333. It means a lot :]]] And I wanna talk to you on MSN soon xD

His movements were languid and misguided, his cigarette clung to his lips for dear life, his mind may forget it was there and let his mouth relax. That’s all he needed now, a burning cigarette onto the wooden floor. As he stumbled out into the hallway, he realized his next task would be equally as fun – the stairs.

“Hey Gokudera!” It came from atop the stairs, and at this time of night it was more horrid than a ghost’s screech to Gokudera.

“Whadda want now?” The light at the top of the stairs had been turned on and the glow seemed to illuminate one side of Yamamoto, only half the grin caught in the light. Fuck how could he be so awake right now?

“I can’t sleep and I heard you coming up.”

Gokudera wanted to reply with some witty or snide comment like, ‘Yeah so?’ but his mouth muscles stayed refused to move. Instead he just repeated the statement in his head, hoping it was strong enough to reach the other man at the top of the stairs. He did managed to make a grunt that only called for minimal effort.

“You heading to bed already?”

“What… do you think I’m doing.” This comment managed to make it through his lips but it had no oomph. It was flat line in sentence form.

“Dunno, thought maybe you were just going to the bathroom or something. But hey! We’re both up, why don’t we play cards or something.”

Fucker doesn’t give up… “It’s late…” To prove his point, Gokudera began his accent up the stair, heavy feet making the stairs creek so slightly as he went up. He didn’t look up to see if the other man had moved or not, he really didn’t care. But as he went farther up the stair, no vast amount of light had filtered into the top of his vision, he was still blocking the light… His eyes made the involuntary trip upward to greet Yamamoto’s, “Look it’s just too…”

The light was brightening the area, but the normal natural light of Yamamoto’s smile was absent. Instead of the happy ‘oh well!’ face he expected, his eyes fell onto a solemn face, eyes cast down, far from a happy place. His lips seemed to be touched by a smile, but coupled with the regret swimming in his eyes, it was a slightly scary sight for even Gokudera, “Hey… you…”

“Sorry Gokudera… I know it’s late, I shouldn’t have asked I was just… missing Tsuna a bit.” His eyebrows nit together and his lips tried out a woobly smile. His voice didn’t crack, but there was a sense of need to Gokudera, Yamamoto had kept saying how they needed to avenge him, how they were working for this, but he strayed from the subject of missing him. For him to admit it, his feelings were leaking out the cracks of the barrier he’d tried to build.

Gokudera let his heart falter as well, when he reached the top of the stairs, he managed to reply, “So which card game?”

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22 June 2008 @ 11:33 pm

Valecity [12] - Falling Up 7?8? OMG xD;

Gyah~ xD I give up, I probably won't get my tone back for a while :B;; I don't know what's wrong with me. Please agree with me when I say it sucks,

nani_kumi please point out where I've just completely messed up my story xD;; This is slightly shorter than most, partially because I'm at the part where I know where I WANT TO GO, but I have to build the bridge to get there and I'm short on supplies D;

Lunch had so far been progressing smoothly, Gokudera had entertained Yamamoto with translating banter and laughing at all the tourists who were so utterly lost. The entire time Yamamoto would point to things on the menu asking how to say it or what it meants or if he’d had it before or a thousand other questions.

“God you’re helpless, look I’ll say it one more time…” His eyes traveled over to the menu that was being attacked by Yammoto’s prying finger. It was Salumi, something basic, “Nothing interesting, what kind of food do you want anyways. It’ll be easier if I know what the hell you feel like instead of just pointing and saying what it is.”

“Eh, true, but it’s still fun to just pick up the Italian.”

“Because knowing dish names is so important in getting around town and all.” Gokudera took a long drag from his cigarette and then exhaled out into the open air. The nicotine sure took the typical edge off, but the melancholy of seeing the smoke just floating around in the air struck him. He waved it off as a stupid metaphor that only idiots like Yamamoto would comment about. “So… what happened at the base after I…”

“We took care of Tsuna… and then we started to research into the events. Most of us believed you had just gone off to be alone for a day or two, we all took a day to ourselves, but then we noticed you were gone. Again we thought you just needed some time, so for those three week we researched, tried to keep undercover, move on. But we realized that with you missing we wouldn’t get too far, and that’s when I came here.’

“…At least I didn’t miss too much.” The smoke still lingered slightly, drifting, drifting. Another drag and exhale, something to keep the other smoke cloud company.

---

Days where they worked may have been one thing, it was easy to make minimal conversation towards Yamamoto when work and Uri were holding his mind hostage. But at night, when his eyes began to wander and his hands shakes from a lack of sleep, he left himself open for more contact.

It was night when Gokudera found himself thinking the same thoughts over and over again. His research was never finished, but for some reason his mind couldn’t finish his theory and he would pause, get off track and then have to start all over again from the beginning. Even the cat was absent having found some better place to be than cramped and hunched over a desk at twelve at night.

The moon was taking its lonely journey across the sky, there weren’t too many stars tonight, smudged out by the black clouds that blended into the darkness. From his desk, he could look up and out the window into the night canvas, and around him was an array of papers, more tables, more research, it didn’t end. His feet glided along the wooden floors as he maneuvered the swivel chair back and forth, trying to jostle up his mind. Tiredness was trying to sway his drive to give in, there was no point if he couldn’t function.

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21 June 2008 @ 11:20 pm

Valecity [11] - Falling Up 6

I'll give it a new name soon. Sorry for the lack of comments and such on my real lj, as I said it's not an internet moment for some reason. I'm much happier with this piece than the last few, partially because I think I can try to push in some of their true characteristics now. However, I still don't think that my tone is back at all, it's there in some pieces, not that much though, well not at all. But my word choice isn't as bland. I'll get there Dx Somehow.

“Hey Gokudera, let’s go out today.”

“What? Why?” So far, harmony had been constant in the house. They’d gotten a little work done, nothing worth bragging but something that seemed to be leading them to clues about the murder as well as new findings with the Sistema C.A.I.. They’d ‘gotten along’. But that meant Gokudera avoiding Yamamoto most of the time, however Yamamoto would always try to find excuses to bring up trivial conversation.

“Because! Wouldn’t it be fun?” Yamamoto’s shine still hadn’t gone away. He’d endured the silence and worked on his own, but he could only look at the house walls so many times before feeling trapped in. “Besides, the only reason I’ve been in Italy before is for meetings and such, I’ve never seen it. It looks nice out there.”

“Whatever, you can go ahead and look, I’m staying here with Uri, I need to work on this some more.”

“It wouldn’t hurt you to get out once in a while you know, it might help you a bit.”

“I’ve seen everything in this town already.”

“Right which is why I need you! I don’t know any good Italian restaurants to go to.”

“It’s called picking up a guide in the town’s center.”

“But I can’t read Italian.”

Gokudera slammed his hands down onto the desk he was sitting at. His short fuse winding down, “Fine! If you keep insisting and won’t leave me alone.” His hand groped around the desk for cigarettes, he was gonna need them. In the box there was a sole survivor of his recent chain smoking. It was plucked up and a mental note was made to go get some more so that he’d have some fighting power against the shining spirit of the baseball nut.

“That’s the spirit!” Yamamoto’s hand nested onto Gokudera’s shoulder. The grin ever painted onto his face seemed to flow through his body and into the other man, a feeling that warmed him up too. “C’mon, I’m starving. So where do we go, you’ve been here before, you have to know some good places.”

“Well… actually….” As the two set out onto their side quest for food, Gokudera found himself rambling on about how this was just a summer house, how truly he hadn’t seen too much of this town as well. Babbling on he didn’t even realize how fast the trip was going as they walked into the town’s center. It felt like ten years ago when the three of them would walk to school together, now there was just a very large piece missing. And then again, normally he’d be babbling on to the tenth, not to Yamamoto.

The town was bustling with tourists, the locals knew better than to come out at noon while all the site seers were hunting for food and a place to escape the sun’s wrath. The Italian filling Gokudera’s ears was again a little puzzling, it took a moment for his brain to make the transition over to another language. And just for the hell of it he let, “Cosi caldo,” slip off his tongue to taste his language against his lips.

Yamamoto passed him a puzzled look at the words, “What’s everyone saying?” The taller man was having fun listening to the words that his mind couldn’t understand however, it felt like there was the typical weights of work removed from his shoulder. A breather, that’s what he saw this as, taking an hour or two off wasn’t abandoning Tsuna. Yamamoto had a feeling Gokudera was thinking just that though, so it became his new mission to plant conversation and sprinkle comments throughout their time here.

“Nothing interesting, actually a lot is English, there’s a good number of tourists here…” His ears tuned in, trying to hone in onto any words he knew, “there’s not much else I can hear though.”

“Hey, teach me something in Italian, I want to sound somewhat smart for lunch.”

A laugh/snort escaped Gokudera’s mouth. It was another foreign word in a sense, but it was light to the soul, “You? Sound smart? Heh… heh, yeah.”

Even though Yamamoto couldn’t possible gush out more smiles, it seemed he did at this, it was a start. Soon he’d be able to bring him back to Japan. “Hey c’mon now! Just because you’re some genius!”

“Well compared to you, you idiot.”

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20 June 2008 @ 10:21 pm

Valecity [10] - Falling Up :: Act 1 - Complete

Okay, so I'm lazy as hell today. I wasn't in a writing mood, nor a comment mood or an internet mood for that matter. And to be honest this is a shit post just so you know xD;. Pretty much, I've named the series, and I've given the plot a thought and it has a skeleton. I'll write some more tomorrow, but right now, I'm just ~~~~ on writing. ~~I just want to go play Tenchu to be honest~~

Falling Up - Act I

( Arrival )

There will be five acts if nothing is changed, and each act after this will be slightly longer than this if I can get my act (LOLOLOL) together and write decently D;

I'm sorry for the failure xD

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19 June 2008 @ 10:55 pm

Valecity [09] - - - -5

OMGGGGG D; I'm so sorry guys for this epic failure. I'm just not in the writing mood today. My tone is flat, my sentences are boring, I tried to go back and rework this whole segment...but it's just not gonna happen Dx. So please don't kill me as you read this. Tomorrow I may just repost an unshitty version of this.

“Uri, you damn cat, get off my work!”

The yellow mass of terror hissed back at his owner, however it never looked anywhere as terrifying as it did when Uri was in his true form. Currently, the cat/cheetah combo thing was being a pain in the ass by using Gokudera’s papers as a playground.

Since Yamamoto’s arrivial, Gokudera had sinced moved in some of his work into the house. He refused to go back to Japan, something was still calling to him here, but Yamamoto had jostled awake his spirit, and bringing vengeance to the tenth was all that was on his mind. As for the baseball nut, he’d since taken up residence at Gokudera’s, much to the other man’s refusal. However with a bit of quick wit and the constant, ‘But my missions isn’t complete until you go back’ Gokudera eventually gave up the fight and shoved Yamamoto and his bag into an extremely cramped storage room.

“I mean it Uri!” Gokudera was currently trying to apprehend the cat and failing. So far, he’d gotten little to no work done, because along with the papers and research he’d requested Yamamoto to have brought in, the box with Uri in it came too. And since the cat’s escape from the six walled prison, it hadn’t gone back in. And it’s love of teasing and getting in the way was a constant throughout the days.

It’d been six days since its arrival and the damn thing would not leave him alone. “You damn cat!” Another swing and miss as he tried to nab the cat.

Mood wise – Gokudera was still struggling with his guilt about the tenth, at times he’d gone out back by the ocean and smoked for hours just thinking about it. But work had become an aid, keeping his mind working on other things for a little while.

“Haha! He’s such a playful thing!” That sunshine voice. Since he’d made camp at Gokudera’s, the house did have a warmer feel to it, sometimes though it would grate on Gokudera’s nerves, just like the old days. He swore the taller man shit sunlight or something. If he mourned the tenth at all, Gokudera knew Yamamoto never showed it in front of others.

“Will shut up and help me get it? I can’t work with Uri running around and fucking up my work.”

He may have been bitching and yelling, but Yamamoto smiled at the slow signs of recovery. Sure there’d been no smiles, he didn’t expect that, Tsuna wasn’t here, but the tension he’d first felt crushed by in the beginning was starting to recede.

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18 June 2008 @ 08:54 pm

Valecity [08] - - - -4

Okay, so a note about Gokudera's character. I know that I've effed him up a little D; I'm sorry. Yes, he's being a little 'emo' but I don't really look at it as such. Gokudera really WAS a dedicated right hand man and a dedicated friend to Tsuna, so of course he's going to be in denial and guilt after something like this. But I do promise as I make time go on in this fic, I'll put more of his upbeat funk in it. I think I've captured his attitude pretty well though xD. Yamamoto's easy, the happy go lucky idiot, oh I love him xD. Anywho, I've finally finished a chapter yay! A 3000 word chapter, holy shit xD;; So tomorrow I may cheat a little and just compile these into a chapter and modify them and post them up. Tune up the characterization and dialouge and such. :] Please enjoy.

Too close, too fast. His fingers curled up together, his arm cocked back, he went to strike. He went to, but stopped. In his youth, that rash impulse would’ve followed through but with years came a little maturity. Gokudera dropped his arm and pivoted, he wasn’t worth his time anyways.” Whatever, just leave me alone.”

Yamamoto remained cool despite the squabble, working with the man for ten years had brought an immunity to these sort of things. Besides, letting things like this roll off his shoulder was buried somewhere in his blood. In his upbeat manner he finally spoke, “I can’t do that Gokudera, I was sent here on a mission.”

“Couldn’t care.” The next thing to greet Yamamoto was a door being slammed in his face. The wooden smack against the doorframe didn’t waiver Yamamoto.

“I came to get you back Gokudera.” He waited, surely Gokudera hadn’t fled far enough away from the door not to hear that. A little more wait time but no response. A good sign, Yamamoto continued, “We need you back at the base. …Look, I know how you’re feeling about Tsuna… trust me we all are-“

“Will shut up and go home!’ The muffled yelling from the other side was proof Yamamoto had indeed learned some things from all these years. “You don’t understand a thing how I feel. You weren’t the tenth’s right hand man! Just go home! Unless you know who shot Tsuna then I have no need to talk to you!”

“But Gokudera! That’s why we need your help back at the base, we need all of us working together to find and take down this guy.” Yamamoto was trying to think of some othe rbaitthat he knew. The sad thing was, the whole base had been in such a tissy about looking after Tsuna and such, they hadn’t gotten far with the investigation. However the group did know two families who would have reason to do it. The next thing to come out of his mouth wasn’t exactly a lie… but Yamamoto needed Gokudera to open the door and hear him out, “We think we have the family who did it…”

Those words held power, slowly the door creaked open.

“So who was it?”

Yamamoto began to pass through the door, but Gokudera’s hand quickly shot out to keep him at bay, “Answer me first.”

The taller man sucked in the cooler house air, trying to pick one of the two families, he didn’t want to lie, but he had to help out the rest of the Vongola at the base. Truth was, the sistema C.A.I. would prove to be a great asset to them once they truly did find out who it was. “The Millefiore family.”

His hand dropped back to his side and into his pocket, Gokudera needed a cigarette. He needed to fixate himself onto something, anything. This new overload of things coming at him flustered him. He didn’t want Yamamoto here, true, but Yamamoto had information about who did this to the tenth. But Yamamoto was here… bad, but there was new information, the good. Going back to the Mafia right now? Bad. It may have seemed odd true, maybe this was just his recouping time.

“So will you come back?” The voice cut through the silence and jostled Gokudera slightly. His eyes traveled up to Yamamoto, yup, that same glint in them was there. That glint that had been there since he’d met him way back in the past ten years ago. It held power and a drive. Gokudera would never admit it, but he slightly envied it, especially now when he was here mourning when he should be helping avenge the tenth.

But… “No, I’m not going back.”

“But why not? Please, we need you-“

“Because you damn baseball nut! Maybe I’m not ready yet, okay? I know I should be there! I want to be there! But… but I just can’t for some reason! I need to know the answers to some things first.”

“To what?”

“None of your business, so just go home.”

“I don’t think so.” Yamamoto moved in closer to his opposition. Gokudera had since shut the door and had his back against it, now to keep him there, Yamamoto outstretched his arms and put his hands at either side of Gokudera’s neck, caging him in human form. “Like it or not, I’m part of this too, and I’m on a mission to bring you back so we can help avenge the tenth.”

Gokudera was pushing against the door, how dare this baseball fuck corner him instead of getting out of his house. But he sensed it to, the slight anger in Yamamoto’s voice that only touched his lips at such rare times. That tone had only brushed past his ears a few times in all the years he’d known him.

“Don’t…” Yamamoto continued, “… act like you’re the only one that misses him, Gokudera. I’ll say it again, we need you to help us track the guy down. Now do you want to help him… or not?”

Gokudera hesitated but was still quick to reply, “I do.”

A smile quickly etched its way onto Yamamoto’s face and that dangerous aura retreated back into him. The ‘normal’ Yamamoto was back, “Good then.”

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17 June 2008 @ 11:22 pm

Valecity [07] - - - -3

8D. MOAR.

After being a part of the Maifa for so long, not having to meet up in the underground base, train with his bombs, or make cracks at Yamamoto, there was little left to choose from to do. Well, there was always things that could be done, but nothing too exciting was roaming around the vacation house. Gokudera had kept himself busy those first two weeks by fiddling around with the piano or visiting the city he’d only once seen. However, after the third trip around the city some of the sites were getting repetitious.

Using his native tongue was another thing somewhat foreign to him. Italian hadn’t touched his lips in quite a while, and he’d almost used Japanese to respond to happy merchants a few times. Yet, his own routine was being established, and it was caked in a daily dose of mourning and guilt.

A note about this – Gokudera did indeed heavily blame himself for what happened and this had all triggered this impulse move to Italy. His mood had mellowed from his explosive outburst and qualities to an almost somber state. It was a shock even to himself, but the reason for this reserved mood was that he was mentally searching for the answer to his question of what he was without Tsuna.

The days had ticked by like that until two weeks had passed. He was pretty sure that no one had managed to dig up his location, there had been no word from the rest of the Vongola family, and he had no true plans to return unless he found some purpose or answer to his question. Unless he caught wind of who it was that had shot Tsuna down, his body (his mind was currently elsewhere) remained in Italy.

---

A knock was what started up Gokudera’s life again.

It had been a quick secession of two taps. Gokudera had been lucky to hear it, he had just finished planting his foot onto the second floor and the light noise reached his ear. Though bitter that his trip up the stairs was wasted, Gokudera languidly made his way to the door. It was probably the neighbors asking for salt or some lost tourist, just a hindrance in his day.

Yet, on the other side of the door, a very unwelcome surprise was standing there. With that typical grin. That fucking baseball nut grin.

Yamamoto.

Yamamoto was just standing there in the doorway, a medium sized bag slung over his shoulder and adorned in the typical black suit and tie. His lips were indeed tugged up into that grin that had taunted Gokudera for so many years. But how the hell could he be smiling right now? Where was his grief? Where was his guilt!? He was in the same boat as Gokudera, maybe not the right hand man but still. Something snapped.

“Fuck are you doing here you baseball nut?! Better yet, how the hell did you know where I was!?” That fucking grin. It pissed him off even after not seeing it for three weeks. “And wipe that damned grin off your face!” Gokudera moved too quick for his brain to catch up and reason. He grabbed Yamamoto by the shirt collar, tugging him forward to him. The rough action jostled Yamamoto, and recovering only to be staring into Gokudera’s eyes wasn’t comforting. They were too close, Yamamoto knew the other man hated him, too close for anything good. Oh too close.

Through gritted teeth, the attacker managed to choke out, “How. The fuck. Can you grin right now?”

Yaaaay O: MOAR tomorrow.

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16 June 2008 @ 11:17 pm

Valecity [06] - - - -2

The continuation of last night's :B; And no where near done. It's now mostly expositional stuff that's quite boring, and to be honest I'm not too happy with it D; There's one or two parts I think I had my tone in, but then it died... hard. 8D;

For the first week after Tsuna’s death, Gokudera had sat there, in the base in disbelief like the others. They’d all wandered around the base in their daze, thinking how horrible of a dream this was. Gokudera remembered looking from face to face, each one remembering a time they’d shared with Tsuna and how now it could only be one-sided now.

Tears where the ever present guest in the base. When Gokudera caught a glance of Kyoko’s face he couldn’t help but wince while his heart sunk in a sea of regret. Yamamoto, Ryohei, and himself kept to themselves about it but the first few days didn’t go without their contribution to the tears, just not around the others.

Finally, after the first week, the silence and depression that was clinging to the atmosphere was just too much. It was crushing him, it was a combination of things. He hadn’t said it out loud, but inside his conscious was screaming, “It’s your fucking fault! You let this happen!” He was the tenth’s right hand man, and now the boss was dead, he was useless and had been so. His. Fucking. Fault.

He ran.

Far.

Italy to be exact. Gokudera’s guilt for what happened had caused him to board that plane and take up hiding in Italy. He’d told no one, and how the hell could he? On the plane he was edgy, his hands gripped the edge of the seat cursing about how the plane wouldn’t go faster. He couldn’t escape quick enough from them. From Tsuna. It was rash, but that was just his style.

After his agonizingly long flight from Japan to Italy, he’d manage to take up residence in his families summer house. Being the son of a millionaires family did have some perks. Again, he’d not let on to anyone he was staying here, he hated that bastard of an old man so asking for permission was laughable to him. This might as well be his own damn house.

It was quaint little ‘shack’. The only reason it was a shack was because all the other buildings around him had three or more stories while his only held two. It was located off a main road in a smaller beach/tourist town on the Amalfi Coast. When he and his father were speaking, his father had once stated how he’d picked that location because it was away from the Mafia bases and he could unwind. The beach hugged the shore that loomed only a few meters away from the end of the house.

As custom for the area, the house was up on concrete stilts and rectangular in shape, a grey color coating the outside. A circular window here and a rectangular here were spotted along the house, the circular ones typically on the second story. The flat roof had an area set aside to be meant for sitting in a chair and gazing at the stars. When Gokudera had thought of his dad doing that when he’d seen the house the first time at five, he’d snorted at the idea of his father partaking in anything peaceful.

The house was tucked away with a lot of others on his block by the trees that served as a shield from the town and main road. No one came down the road since it wasn’t adorned with colorful signs or a nicely paved side walk for bicycles, this kept the noise down and the people off their beaches.

It may have kept people away, but it wasn’t any relief in keeping Gokudera’s regrets and guilt away.

And for the next two weeks, the nightmares had started their nightly run. They played big-screen on his mind, he was there strapped to a nasty old theatre seat, eyes pried open to witness the dream on endless rerun. So far, there had only been one night where he hadn’t woken up in a cold sweat, screaming. That night he wasn’t sure what had happened, but he was thankful.

Was he running away from the Mafia? Fuck he didn’t know. He hadn’t thought about ‘jobs’ or working on his bomb techniques or the Sistema C.A.I.. When he sat back and was perfectly honest with himself, he had no idea what the hell he was doing. This wasn’t the way he would act, or was it? What was he without Tsuna?

He had no answer.

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15 June 2008 @ 10:50 pm

Valecity [05] - - - -

THE KHR JUNKIE IS HURRR. Sorry sorry that I'm not continuing the story that I posted for two days now, consider this a little break. I've been craving an 8059 fic and I decided that I'm the one to do it xD;;;; So yes, this has a huge spoiler from the Future Arch. And

nani_kumi I'm sorry that this will probably make no sense D; I promise to get back to the other story soon, I know where it's going at least ^-^. I hope you enjoy this piece though.

Shots were ringing out, but from where? There, everywhere, they’re everywhere. It’s a quite ‘ra-tat’ and then a thud, another quick round of ‘ra-ta-tat’s and more plunks. The sounds of the bullets burying themselves into flesh. But where, but from where? These sounds are everywhere.

His hands are out, his eyes are closed, he swears they’ve been closed shut because slits of light are peeking in through the bottoms of his lids. He’s grasping for where, where are the sounds, where are his bombs, why can’t he see? The Ra-ta-tats stop, but his eyes don’t open and his hands don’t meet anything but more air.

People are yelling and screaming, he hear’s Yamamoto’s voice calling to someone… who is it? What’s going on. He can’t take this, his hands start to claw at his eyes, fighting off the invisible glue that’s keeping the light out. Anger’s building as the commotion around his seems to increase. What the fuck is going on? Where’s the tenth?

After what fells like an eternity, something must’ve pitied him because whatever was holding his eyes shut draw back, and light floods into his vision. It’s too bright, can’t see, it impairs him for a minute before shapes start to form. There are only a few it seems, five in all. From the black shapes he can make out that they’re all crouching except one, down on the ground – sprawled out. But who who who?

The fuzziness starts to dissipate, colors other than bright yellow are filling his world and the shapes are starting to become familiar. Yamamoto… Ryohei… Reborn… even Kyoko seems to be there. They’re not moving, surrounding something, but what what what? He tries to move, but there’s something holding him, a manifestation of fear and denial are halting his steps as the last figure comes into view, the one on the ground.

Tsuna.

His mouth open, the fear’s trying to come out, but where a scream would be, nothing comes out. But something’s clawing in his throat, something holding down his legs, something’s trying to shut his eyes again. And as he begins to blink, hold back the tears, Tsuna appears in front of him. No wait, that shouildnt’ be Tsuna, the tenth should never look this bad.

His face is bloodied, his body is spotted with holes, and his expression somber, content almost. Those golden eyes of his in his Dying Will mode are shining – glowing. With cracked lips dabbed with blood, Tsuna voice ghosts out, “This is your fault, Gokudera.”

-

“TENTH!”

Gokudera shot up. His mind struck from its dreaming state. Sweat was drawing patterns down his face and chest - that was currently heaving in uneven rhythms.

A dream. Another one. The same one that’s been on endless loop in his mind for days now it seems.

“Tsuna… It is my fault.” When he said the words, the pang in his heart seems to constrict harder than it had been. Those words floated into the darkness of his room. They mingled with the smell of cigarettes that was ever present in any of the rooms he inhabited.

Curse words were dancing in his mind, why the fuck did this happen? It had been about three weeks since Tsuna had been gunned down. And ever since that event these nightmares had been taking up residence in Gokudera’s mind. It was his fault. Was it his fault? Of course it was, he was Tsuna’s right hand man and he’d failed him.

He couldn’t protect the tenth in the end.

Of course I havev like thousands more words to write xD;

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14 June 2008 @ 11:13 pm

Valecity - [04]

Wow, a whole two paragraphs D: because I couldn't manage to get anything out. Sorry sorry Dx It IS however the start to chapter one~

There are times when I just stare out into the strawberry fields and wonder what’s beyond them. I know that’s the corniest and most cliché line ever used, but it’s true. When you grow up here, know everything about here, never leave here, your mind tends to crave knowledge about something beyond your frame of information.

I have been here since I was little, and the farthest I’ve ever been from this farm is just across the border into California, a whole twenty minutes away… As depressing as it sounds, I do enjoy it here, there’s something that you can get out of living here that I can’t quite grasp, that you wouldn’t in the cities or small towns. But either way, I do wonder what’s out there.

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13 June 2008 @ 07:58 pm

Valecity [03] - An Idea Forming

FINALLY, an idea for a story has struck me! It's a great blessing. This is just a prologe, and very very rough so ignore it's slight vagueness. Pretty much the story is set at twenty-three years later from this piece, as suggested in the second paragraphy. Oh and also, the ___ is Ken's last name that I've yet to define 8D;; Give it a minute, it'll come to me xD;

“They may not take too much, but they do the right amount of care. And with this position, I swear I’ll give it to them so I can serve people everywhere with these wonderful fruits!”

That was the statement Ken ___ made more than twenty-three years ago when his father passed on to him his strawberry fields. Growing up around the red fruit, Ken had learned all the tricks and needs to make this field thrive, and while he practiced on them from the early age of twelve his father looked on with close eyes. When the time had come, Ken stood proudly by his father and spoke those words with his heart filled with happiness. It was in his blood to be the owner of the fields, generations had come and gone as the owners and now the baton of ownership was being passed again. He was just happy to make his father proud that he could take over the business.

As the eleven years, up until the present, went, Ken learned more and tried more and sold more and lived happily more. Of course there was no big hurrah for Ken, strawberries were just things to buy at the store for most people. But it filled him with pride to know that he was supplying a good deal of the Southwestern states with the fruits. And he had help along the way, the workers liked him, he treated them fairly and paid them as much as he could so few left him throughout the year.

However sometimes a pang of loneliness would enter his heart as work shut down for the day and the house at the edge of the fields was filled with only one occupant. You see ‘father’ had packed up with the news of turning the farm over and headed down to Florida, “To fit in with the rest of the retirees” he’d said. So one day, Ken hiked himself into the little town in which he lived and sat at the local’s favorite restaurant bar all day in hopes of attracting someone. Ken had always been slightly clueless when it came to socializing, the majority of his time when he was younger was spent in the fields messing with the workers and at school. At twenty, he only remembered having one girlfriend, but her name escaped him.

He did this for a week or so before one of the waitresses gave him a ticked off look and said, “Why the hell’ve you been sitting here practically all day for the past week?!” A train mentally hit him right then. His world was struck down by the beauty of this waitress, her sour attitude didn’t seem to quite click, ‘’she doesn’t like you’ in his brain. With a huge smile he replied, “I wanted to find someone to love!” He clapped his hands together and stood up while saying, “You should love me!”

Maybe it was pity at first, or maybe his overenthusiastic attitude had shocked her, but the woman stood there for a moment before replying, “Well… what’s your name first?” And time created the rest until six years later, when a little girl was born.

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12 June 2008 @ 10:16 pm

Valecity [02] - Wonder

Sorry for not making anything new DDDX. I'm so spent I had no ideas at all.

nani_kumi, I'm sorry I failed you DDx And also *hugs tight* please feel better.

This was inspired by a Narfag (yes I really hate that series xDD;;;) fanart that was so pretty I was inspired. Go figure xD;;.

Her hair was a soft pink. White touched by just a tint of red. Such a thought managed to etch a tiny smirk onto her lips. Red. All the ‘red’ she’d seen, touched, been touched by in the years would never escape her. Such a friend like that would stay on her shoulder as a soft pebble for her life. But oh how such a innocent thing could be turned sour by one word in thought. But her hair was a soft pink. And that brought said smirker a sense of relief but also at the same time a sense of cloudiness. Now it would never be clear. But it was better that way to the people around her.

Lying there, in a swirl of cream blankets, the tiny patch of soft hair was nestled with gentle care. Not too close to the edge, just tucked enough under the sheet. Innocence sleeping, a shield of unknowing guarding that innocence with the pink hair. Pink. Maybe it did sadden her that she wouldn’t know, and after all, it would effect her feelings for this pink haired child in no way. Her fingers wisped against the strands of pink hair, feeling for the reality of things, maybe even trying to figure out the answer in texture. In the window in front of her, the night sky was starting to be chipped away by the sun’s reddened grasp. And while the sun continued to paint away the darkened sky, she sighed and drew back her searching fingers. Like the night sky, she would let the mystery be chipped away by the oncoming rush of love.

Yes, so as I said, I've already shown this piece in my other journal 8D;; Sorry, new things tomorrow.

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11 June 2008 @ 09:24 pm

Valecity [01] - Whistle

This is totally not the best way to start off my challenge xD; The ending was rushed, actually a lot of it was written and then my computer failed D; And I couldn't quite capture what I first had. But anywho, this is pretty much my own write up of what I got out of: The Things They Carried a book about the Vietnam War. Quite good, a little sparatic, but good :]

F E A R. You’re deadly afraid. Afraid that the next inch you take will set off a flurry of fire. Afraid that even your heartbeat will betray your position. Or afraid that they’re sitting in the next highest shrub, laughing as they watch your expression change into different patterns of grimaces. The soil that’s under your hands is starting to gain the consistency of mud, you’ve been holding your sweating palm for too long, gripping at it in vain.

But you can’t let them see you afraid, in a row next to you, the others are watching out of the corner of their eyes. Partially so they can mock and laugh at you later at your fear, and also to make sure they’re not the only one’s who’re afraid. The cold metal nuzzled at your side isn’t any comfort at all, all that power compressed into its frame can’t stop your brain’s distress as the countless situations of defeat swirl about in your head.

You vow thousands of things to God, you remember things that probably were okay to forget, but you’re telling yourself that’s> why you’re hear. Some stupid trivial thing that was an accident to forget, or you couldn’t do, but that’s it. Karma’s coming down its train tracks from hell.

But then your worries are stopped, your brain’s wiped clean. The bullet’s whistle cuts through the air - too fast too close, to your right, only two inches to spare. And things begin to move slowly, your platoon scramble for their weapons, hauling themselves up to their feet, oh so slowly. The only thing to betray the calm feel are the looks of mixed fear and power on their faces. You too act upon instinct, fingers gliding over the slick trigger, bringing the gun to level, it’s all in slo-mo too, just for the effect.

Your fears melt away as a shell starts to encase you. It’s not you, but it is. It’s not the you that was worried and scared seconds earlier, but it’s a you that does not have a conscious. Like a sheet, it wraps around you, a protective cloak. It’s only purpose is to serve as the shield between your actions and your conscious. Without it, you’ll eat yourself alive when the whistling stops.

Like I said, it's bad xD; Tomorrow maybe I'll concentrate on doing something in a series D;

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